Interrupto!

**Sona Movsesian** (0:03)
Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started.

**Mike** (0:13)
Hey, Mike, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Hey, thanks so much.

**Conan O'Brien** (0:17)
Hey, Mike, how are you? Where are you right now?

**Mike** (0:19)
Oh, my gosh. Hey, Conan, I'm in London, Ontario in Canada.

**Conan O'Brien** (0:23)
Oh, wow. Okay. And are you in the wilderness right now? I mean, are you in a pretty urban area?

**Mike** (0:29)
Yeah, I'm in the urban area today.

**Conan O'Brien** (0:31)
Okay. Can I just pretend that you're way out on the tundra somewhere?

**Mike** (0:36)
Yeah, let's do it.

**Conan O'Brien** (0:37)
Okay. Can you occasionally make a whew sound with your mouth just so I feel like this is really authentic?

**Mike** (0:45)
What do you want, sorry?

**Conan O'Brien** (0:46)
Forget it. That's the perfect response.

**Sona Movsesian** (0:49)
Why don't you repeat what you asked him?

**Conan O'Brien** (0:50)
No, I'm good.

**Sona Movsesian** (0:51)
Oh, okay.

**Conan O'Brien** (0:52)
And I just wanted to get you to say Canadian sorry, so I'm happy. Hey, Mike, it says that you are a conservation authority. Is that correct?

**Mike** (1:02)
Oh yeah, I work for a local conservation authority.

**Conan O'Brien** (1:05)
And in the past, you were a polar bear monitor. What does that mean?

**Mike** (1:14)
Essentially, I would go up to the Arctic and get dropped off by helicopter with anybody who needs a safe escort across the Arctic from polar bears. So I would kind of track the bears, find the bears, keep my eyes on them and make sure. Sorry, I was supposed to do this reveal earlier.

**Conan O'Brien** (1:33)
What is?

**Sona Movsesian** (1:34)
Oh my God!

**Conan O'Brien** (1:35)
Look, for those of you listening, Mike just panned to, I mean, a Hogwarts owl.
A beautiful owl is perched right next to you. And apparently, it was just happily hooting.

**Sona Movsesian** (1:54)
The perfect reveal.

**Conan O'Brien** (1:56)
That was the perfect cinematic reveal. If you get a chance to see that, go on your computer and check it out. That's amazing. That was amazing.

**Mike** (2:04)
She's gonna love that.

**Conan O'Brien** (2:05)
What is that bird's name?

**Mike** (2:07)
Well, Conan, I was hoping you could name her for me. She's fairly new to my team here. So I was wondering if you could give her a name for it.

**Conan O'Brien** (2:14)
How about Interrupto?

**Mike** (2:15)
Interrupto? I love it.

**Conan O'Brien** (2:17)
Interrupto the owl.

**Mike** (2:20)
She's also sitting on my router right now, so she might even interrupt us further. That's okay.

**Conan O'Brien** (2:27)
That bird, Interrupto just wants to destroy, like not that guy. Just this podcast? Yeah, this podcast? Why isn't it Smartless? And he's like crushing the wire. Where's Will Arnett? He's Canadian. Hey Mike, so I just have to ask you, so your job was to be basically a guide who would protect people from polar bears in the Arctic. And so I have so many questions right now. I've always heard polar bears are the most dangerous bear. They can kill you so quickly. Is that true?

**Mike** (3:01)
It's true, yeah. Like a black bear, a grizzly bear might not want anything to do with you, where a polar bear, if they smell you, see you, they're coming to get you. They're hungry, it's cold. And they want to eat.

**Conan O'Brien** (3:16)
Right.
They're not sitting around on their backs eating a bunch of blueberries that they found. There's nothing like that in the Arctic. So when they see a ham steak and boots walking by, they go for it. They go for that person.

**Mike** (3:30)
They want it. They want it bad.

**Conan O'Brien** (3:32)
So what can you do to protect them in that situation?

**Mike** (3:36)
Yeah. So I care about conservation so much. So I want to protect the bears just as much as I want to protect the humans because I am armed. I do use non-lethal rounds, but there are lethal rounds. It may be never had to, never want to.

**Conan O'Brien** (3:55)
So what are the non-lethal rounds made of?

**Mike** (3:59)
It's like a rubber slug.

**Conan O'Brien** (4:01)
And so it hurts. If you hit a polar bear with it, he'll say, I want to leave now.

**Mike** (4:07)
Kind of. I did it once. And the polar bear just kind of like squinted its eyes and walked away.

**Conan O'Brien** (4:13)
Sort of like Clint Eastwood. It looked annoyed and then walked away.

**Mike** (4:16)
Yeah. Yeah.

**Conan O'Brien** (4:18)
And can I ask you, what is the caliber of weapon if the rubber bullet isn't working that you would use on a polar bear? Because I would think it just has to be a, you can't just be using a 22