Injecting yourself in the bathroom and smiling through work: the reality of IVF while at work

**SPEAKER_1** (0:02)
This is a podcast by The Straits Times.

**Vanessa Chelvan** (0:09)
Hi, I'm Vanessa Chelvan, and this is The Motherload, a five-part podcast series by The Straits Times. Let's talk about what it takes to balance motherhood and a day job.
This is a space about the juggle, the nine-to-five, five-to-nine, and everything in between. We navigate the magic and the mess of being a working mom. In this episode, we turn to those who may need a bit of help in becoming mothers. In Singapore, about 15% of couples struggle with infertility. Some go through IVF once, others do it four, five, six, up to ten or twelve times. And I keep asking myself, how?
How do you keep putting your body and your heart through that? I have with me two people with first-hand experience. Divya Menon from IVF Support Group, Fertility Support SG. Hi Divya.

**Divya Menon** (0:57)
Hi Vanessa. Thanks for having me here.

**Vanessa Chelvan** (0:59)
Of course. And Elisha Tushara, my colleague here at The Straits Times.

**Elisha Tushara** (1:04)
Hey girl. So glad. Our lunchtime conversations have come out of the coffee shop.

**Divya Menon** (1:09)
Yes, into the podcast.

**Vanessa Chelvan** (1:13)
Divya, I want to start with you. Where are you in your journey right now?

**Divya Menon** (1:18)
So I've been on this journey for a few years now.
And I actually went straight into IVF. I was 40 when we started and I also have diabetes and high blood pressure. So me, my husband and I, doctor, I think had to make that decision very quickly that it was going to be IVF. And I've been through multiple cycles now.
And I had a miscarriage this year, early this year, at 10 weeks. Yeah, so I'm still in the game. I'm still going to continue this journey. And I think that's actually why I said yes to this conversation. Not only is it therapeutic, but I think it's also because I know what it's like to sit in a meeting, smile, present, and carry that enormous weight of what's going on behind the scenes.

**Vanessa Chelvan** (2:20)
And Elisha, what about you?

**Elisha Tushara** (2:22)
Okay, thanks Vanessa for having me on. So I had my first child when I was 33
And although it wasn't done through IVF or IUI, I did need to go to the gynae, take pills, and he had to monitor the development of my egg.
So it was some sort of assisted fertility in that sense. And after I had my son, we didn't want him to grow up to be an only child. So we wanted him to have a sibling. And we found that it was so much harder than the first time. And when I went back to my gynae to try taking the pills, it didn't work. And we did try IUI a couple of times that didn't work as well. So that was when we decided to try IVF. So I've done two egg retrievals, and I've done five embryo transfers. And my daughter was conceived during my last try when I turned 40, and that was the last egg I had left from that process, yeah.

**Vanessa Chelvan** (3:19)
You mentioned IVF, IUI. Let's talk about the difference. So most people are familiar with in vitro fertilization, that's IVF, where an egg is fertilized by sperm outside of the body, and the resulting embryo is then transferred into the uterus, right? Well, less well-known is intrauterine insemination, IUI, which is a bit less invasive procedure in which sperm is placed directly into the uterus during the fertile window. I wanna talk about what IVF looks like from the inside, right? So many of my friends have been through one form of fertility treatment or another, and almost all of them did it quietly, right? Fitting appointments around work, family, telling no one. So, just quietly disappearing for a few hours, and then getting on with things.
Elisha, can you tell us what was happening to you week to week? You know, the injections, the monitoring, the retrieval, what did that feel like?

**Elisha Tushara** (4:20)
So, at that time, I was still working as a teacher, and because, you know, teaching hours are so rigid, I cannot just take leave whenever I wanted to, to go and see the gyne. So, everything had to be timed, everything had to be planned. It was a very stressful period, because there's not a single injection you can miss. You have to keep track of everything you're doing. You have to keep up with your gyne appointments. And while you're trying to concentrate at work, you know, at the back of your mind, you're always thinking about, you know, am I doing things right? When I go to the gyne next, you know, am I gonna hear good news? Am I gonna hear bad news? Yeah, so it was a lot.