Hour 4: Craigie and Big Mac Debate Aruba Shark Myths and Vacation Ethics

**Craig Carton** (0:16)
License now. 524 Cartoon Show Big Mac. Great to have you here. Let me just check my handy dandy list. If there's anything I left out today that I want to get to. No, no, no, not on that one. No, not on that one, not on that one. No, not on that one. No, no, didn't want to do that one, didn't do it. No, not on that one. Okay.
No, pretty good. Oh, there's a lesbian cricket triangle.
You guys aware of this or no? Now, when I read the headline, that could be read two different ways. That could be read, there are lesbians who like to play cricket, who are involved in some kind of weird love triangle. That's one way to read it, right? Or there are lesbian crickets that are involved in some type of love making soiree.

**Chris McMonigle** (1:07)
Sure.

**Craig Carton** (1:08)
How do you read it?

**Chris McMonigle** (1:09)
How do I read it? Yeah. I heard it. I would think it's probably lesbian cricket players who read it.

**Craig Carton** (1:20)
You believe so? So the cricket sport is what you think?

**Chris McMonigle** (1:23)
Yes.

**Craig Carton** (1:24)
Okay. Final answer?

**Chris McMonigle** (1:27)
Final answer.

**Craig Carton** (1:28)
So you think it's women, like human beings, who are lesbians, who play cricket, and there's a big like lovers quarrel or triangle thing. As opposed to scientists have discovered lesbian crickets that are involved in some type of war.

**Chris McMonigle** (1:48)
Yeah. If you left out the triangle part, I could be sold on the lesbian crickets.

**Craig Carton** (1:53)
You could be.

**Chris McMonigle** (1:54)
But because of the triangle, I'm going to go with the lesbian cricket players.

**Craig Carton** (1:58)
Well, you'd be right, sir. That's right. Australian Women's Cricket Vice Captain Ashley Gardner, her strange wife Monica Wright, and teammate George Ravalle, all women, all lesbians have split up, and there's alleged infidelity claims, which have now made major, major headlines. What do you expect from lesbians though, right?
Like, if I was a lesbian, I think I'd have a wandering eye.

**Chris McMonigle** (2:27)
I think I read somewhere it's the highest divorce rate.

**Craig Carton** (2:30)
Lesbians? Yeah.

**Chris McMonigle** (2:31)
I think I read that somewhere, yeah. I'm not kidding.

**Craig Carton** (2:34)
What were you reading? Just like what type of magazine were you reading?
I was just reading, yeah. I always like to read Lesbian Monthly, Craig. And in June, they were saying that.

**Chris McMonigle** (2:43)
That's great bathroom material.

**Craig Carton** (2:45)
By the way, great bathroom material. Because we all have this idea in our minds that...

**Chris McMonigle** (2:51)
I actually think I saw a stand up comedian say it now.

**Craig Carton** (2:53)
Oh, is that right?

**Chris McMonigle** (2:54)
Yeah, it was What's His Name? I'm sorry to ruin the dream.

**Craig Carton** (2:56)
That's okay.

**Chris McMonigle** (2:57)
You could always envision me reading magazines in the bathroom another time.

**Craig Carton** (3:01)
You're probably just reading Beatles magazines anyway.

**Chris McMonigle** (3:03)
I think he was in that Australian comic.

**Craig Carton** (3:06)
I don't care what the comic was.

**Chris McMonigle** (3:07)
Yeah, but I think I saw him talk about this, about divorce rate inside...

**Craig Carton** (3:11)
So, the divorce rate amongst lesbians is higher than straight couples?

**Chris McMonigle** (3:15)
Straight couples and then also gay men couples? Yes.

**Craig Carton** (3:18)
Is that right?

**Chris McMonigle** (3:19)
I believe that's what he said. I didn't double check it.

**Craig Carton** (3:22)
Is that because women are hard to live with and they don't realize that until they're doing it? Like, we figured it out early.

**Chris McMonigle** (3:28)
We figured it out early.

**Craig Carton** (3:29)
Yeah.

**Chris McMonigle** (3:30)
How difficult they are.

**Craig Carton** (3:30)
Yeah, we just fall prey to the JJ., can't say no to it.

**Chris McMonigle** (3:36)
How is it undefeated when there's two?

**Craig Carton** (3:39)
That's why the divorce rate is so high.
Yeah. How do you live with yourself?

**SPEAKER_3** (3:44)
Someone's got to lose.

**Craig Carton** (3:46)
That's right. That's right. Yeah. Like, I'm tired of making your bed every single day.
Yeah. The division of labor in that household has got to be a tough one. You're probably like spinning the wheel on it or something, right? Like, all right, who's doing the dishes tonight?
That's why, like, in my house, there's no spinning the wheel.

**Chris McMonigle** (4:09)
No. No.

**Craig Carton** (4:09)
Woman, bring me another Grand Marnie and Coke and do the dishes.

**Chris McMonigle** (4:12)
I'm sure that's exactly how it goes.

**Craig Carton** (4:13)
That's right. You got to run your house. Yeah. Some guys wear track shoes and run around it.