Hey Patty!!

**SPEAKER_1** (0:00)
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**Jason V** (0:20)
Would you like fresh towels?

**SPEAKER_1** (0:21)
It matters where you stay.
Book now at hilton.com. Hilton, for this day.

**Theo Von** (0:30)
I want to wish everybody a happy St. Patrick's Day. And that's what it is, baby. St. Patty.

**SPEAKER_4** (0:37)
Hey, Patty.

**Theo Von** (0:38)
Do, Patty. We used to have this girl bus, and her parents didn't let her do much. You know, when God didn't really let her do much, she didn't have, you know, she probably had a couple of abilities.
But she would, she was in charge of bringing the garbage out to the curb, you know. And we'd be out there by the bus stop sometimes, and she lugged them cans on out. And it was kind of like one of the only times she'd kind of go out and about. And so she'd get all dressed up, and even sometimes put her mama's lipstick on and pull them garbage cans out there. And we'd be like, hey, Patty. And she would smile, bro. She smile. I mean, she would get all shy sometimes, and even hide, she would stop pulling the can and hide behind it. So she'd be hiding behind that garbage can, but we'd be like, hey, hey, Patty. Just kind of, you know, being sweet to her or whatever. Just not really flirting, but just, you know, just hey, Patty in her. And she would just be so shy and nervous, boy.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:47)
Hey, Patty.

**Theo Von** (1:49)
And she'd be pulling that can out there at a curb. But she'd smile so big when we'd kind of like be flirting at her, you know? And her lipstick, man, she'd smile so big, she'd get lipstick on her earlobes, bro. She was like that, happy out. And there's something nice about that, seeing somebody get joyed out. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Who was St. Patrick? Let me look it up real quick.
Who was St. Patrick? Because I've been to some St. Patty's, boy. Dude, one time I was out, I remember down in Rochester, downtown over there, and people are getting blasted.

**SPEAKER_5** (2:29)
They're just like, St. Patrick, St. Patrick.

**Theo Von** (2:33)
They don't even know who, you know, hey, Patty. People don't even know what's going on, dude. People out there just eating cigarettes and just, dude, they had one dude, he had his kid in one of those wagons, like a little wagon. He had a one year old just, or maybe a half of one year old. This bitch probably, you know, just however much half of one is. And that was him, the baby, just a little damn manger. This had like a little to go manger, just some hay around that bitch. And he'd stacked a bunch of to go orders on top of that baby, bro, just to keep him warm, bro. A baby stay warm. Touch a baby, bro, on its back or whatever. Touch it again in an hour. I bet you that bitch still warm.
But yeah, this dude, he was just rolling home, bro. He had like six or seven to go orders stacked on that sleeping baby, bro. A bunch of garbage plates stacked on a damn foam on an old cut. What do we got here? St. Patrick. And this is on perplexity. That's what I'm using. St. Patrick was a fifth century Christian missionary and bishop. He was born in Britain. At age 16, he was captured by Irish raiders and taken to Ireland as a slave, where he herded animals for about six years before escaping back to his family. Let's go, Patty.

**SPEAKER_5** (4:01)
Hey, Patty.

**Theo Von** (4:03)
After returning home, he eventually trained for ministry and later felt called back to Ireland as a missionary. Okay. Patrick spent years traveling through parts of Ireland preaching, baptizing, founding churches and ordaining clergy. He is traditionally regarded as the first bishop of Armagh and became the leading figure associated with Ireland's conversion from paganism to Christianity. Dang, he was that dog. He was that Lord Dog, brother.

**SPEAKER_5** (4:34)
We ride here.

**Charlie** (4:35)
Hey, Patty.

**Theo Von** (4:37)
He was that Lord Dog. The famous story that he drove the snakes out of Ireland is considered a legend, often read symbolically. Since there is no evidence, Ireland had native snakes after the last ice age.

**SPEAKER_7** (4:50)
Wow.

**Theo Von** (4:52)
So there's no snakes in Ireland, huh? They're all working in politics in Israel, I guess. Or America. Anyway, happy St. Patrick's Day to everybody who's celebrating. I got my green on. I got my green on. What's cracking, dude? Not much, bro.