Fortune Feimster: A Joke About Dating

**Fortune Feimster** (0:03)
But you gotta put yourself out there. Date different people. I went out with different people. I went out with a nurse at one point, and God bless nurses. They have gotten us through this crazy time. Yeah.
I just thought it would be different. I thought she'd come home in a sexy nurse outfit and be like, who's got an owie? And I'd be like, me.
But it didn't work like that. She'd come home in her dirty-ass grubs, and she brought her work home with her. She was always following me around with a clipboard, asked me about my bowel movements. She thought I should lose weight, which, touche. I'm just saying it wasn't fun to eat nachos with her, because she'd look at me and then look at the nachos and be like, okay. All right, well, someone made a choice. Three kinds of cheeses, sour cream and liquid cheese. I'm like, it's called queso, and it's Spanish for heart disease, and it's delicious. I knew it wasn't going to work out right then and there. I was trying to find like a legitimate excuse to break things off. She's doing the Lord's work, and I didn't want to just be like, hey, you bummed me out when I eat nachos. Watch Fortune Feimster, Good Fortune, only on Netflix.