Derrick Stroup: A Joke About Good Meals

**Derrick Stroup** (0:03)
But it's working out, man. We're trying to figure it out. I enjoy the food in New York City so much. Living in Denver for a decade, I went 10 years without a good meal. They're the most crunchy, granola white people that we've got. They don't eat how we eat. They use food for energy, a concept I don't even understand. I'm trying to take a nap after every meal. I want to put myself down like an old dog, you know? I want my eyes to fog over, and the last thing I hear is somebody saying, he was a good boy.
You should be eating whatever you want. The world's on fire. If you watch the news and go, I'll take a kale salad, you're sick in the head, man. This is ice cream news, Fruity Pebbles news.
New York City's food works to my advantage. I love salt so much. I love sodium. Sometimes I'll buy a bologna and just suck on it, you know?
When I get done eating dinner, I want to take my socks off, and it looks like I still got them on. And healthy people, you won't get that joke. You've never seen your legs bottlenecked before. That's a good meal right there. Pull your sock off, you can see the logo on it, you know?
Oh, man. I didn't know that salt was a problem. When you grow up in the South, everybody warns you about sugar. Everybody. Somebody will roll up on a rascal scooter, they'll go, you better not, you better watch out for sugar, you know? And we go, okay, noted, you know? I didn't know bad things about salt. I thought everybody's hands fell asleep. I'll be honest. I went to my family doctor in Huntsville, Alabama. He ran my blood work, and he goes, hey son, you're all salt, man. He goes, I've never seen anything like it. And he tried to break it down to me in a way that he thought that I could understand. He goes, I owned 47 acres, Derrick. He said, I feel like if I brought you to the middle of that, you'd bring deer in. And that's a joke that does not work in Manhattan.
You've got to find a treeline to tell that to. Watch Derrick Stroup Nostalgic, only on Netflix.