Craig Carton ROASTS John Cena's Hair Transplant & Big Mac's Hat

**Craig Carton** (0:00)
Hey, hey, Carton Show, Big Mac, 336
Hope you're having a great Tuesday afternoon. Obviously, this is the big weekend, 250th anniversary of America, July 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th. Let's just celebrate all summer long.

**Chris McMonigle** (0:17)
And of course- Sorry, I got my hat.

**Craig Carton** (0:19)
By the way, I do love that hat.

**Chris McMonigle** (0:20)
I can't wear it anymore.

**Craig Carton** (0:22)
Why not?

**Chris McMonigle** (0:22)
I'm not in here.

**Craig Carton** (0:23)
Why?

**Chris McMonigle** (0:24)
I just saw the video. It looks like wearing one of those, like what they call them, kangaroo hats.

**Craig Carton** (0:32)
Kangos?

**Chris McMonigle** (0:32)
Kangos.

**Craig Carton** (0:33)
That is not a kango at all, dude.

**Chris McMonigle** (0:35)
Look in the picture.

**Craig Carton** (0:36)
I'm sitting next to you.

**Chris McMonigle** (0:38)
I know, but-

**Craig Carton** (0:38)
I'm a kango guy. I know.

**Chris McMonigle** (0:40)
I look like a kango. I look like Spike Lee in the Nick game. Yeah, I do. I look like Samuel L. Jackson in this time of-

**Craig Carton** (0:45)
Yeah, you look just like Spike Lee and Samuel L. Jackson. Matter of fact, Pete and I were saying, who does Big Mac most look like today? They said Spike Lee is unbelievable. Yeah, you know who looks like Spike Lee?

**Chris McMonigle** (0:53)
I'm telling you. Look at the video.

**Craig Carton** (0:55)
Look at the video. Just a whiter version of Spike Lee. Everything else is exactly the same. Yeah.
That does not make a can go at all.

**Chris McMonigle** (1:04)
Okay.

**Craig Carton** (1:05)
Pick up a picture of LL Cool J.

**Chris McMonigle** (1:07)
That's who I look like.

**Craig Carton** (1:08)
Yeah, you look just like LL Cool J. That's another thing Pete and I were saying during the break.

**Chris McMonigle** (1:13)
I look like probably, I think he wears them. He definitely does in his off time. Big Dom patrolling the sidelines.

**Craig Carton** (1:18)
You look a lot more like Big Dom than you do Spike Lee.

**Chris McMonigle** (1:23)
We have a lot of similarities.

**Craig Carton** (1:24)
Or LL Cool J for that matter. Yes, now he wore his Kango because he has an oddly shaped head.
And was very insecure about the shape of his head. And then I guess when he made enough money he was like, what do I care? I'll be a cop on TV and I'll go bald.

**Chris McMonigle** (1:39)
That's right.

**Craig Carton** (1:39)
But he didn't like, he was like, I guess an, I don't know, like an oddly shaped dome. I have no idea.

**Chris McMonigle** (1:46)
I've never noticed that about him.

**Craig Carton** (1:47)
Well because he's always wearing a hat.

**Chris McMonigle** (1:49)
LL Cool J?

**Craig Carton** (1:51)
Yes.

**Chris McMonigle** (1:51)
No. I see him.

**Craig Carton** (1:53)
You do now.

**Chris McMonigle** (1:54)
Yeah, yeah.

**Craig Carton** (1:54)
If you take, you will not find a picture.

**Chris McMonigle** (1:56)
Or if he had surgery to fix his oddly shaped head?

**Craig Carton** (1:58)
So let's say LL, no, he got rich. Let's say LL Cool J became famous right around 1985, 86, right? That was about the time that, that debut album came out, mid-80s.
Excuse me. We rocked the bells and I'm bad and all the other, all the other songs.

**Chris McMonigle** (2:17)
All the songs you play every day.

**Craig Carton** (2:18)
The songs I play every day. That's exactly right. He, you will not find a single picture of LL Cool J from 1985 up until, I would say, late 90s, without a hat on his head.

**Chris McMonigle** (2:32)
I get it.

**Craig Carton** (2:32)
He was very, very insecure about the shape of his head.

**Chris McMonigle** (2:35)
I understand he was. And yes, maybe because of his success and wealth, he no longer became self-conscious about it. My point is, having seen him after his wealth and after his lack of self-consciousness, I don't view his head as an oddly shaped head.

**Craig Carton** (2:48)
No, neither do I, by the way.

**Chris McMonigle** (2:49)
Well, that's what I'm saying.

**Craig Carton** (2:50)
He was very insecure about the shape and size of his dome. I don't know.

**Chris McMonigle** (2:55)
I don't know.

**Craig Carton** (2:55)
Everyone's got their own little things, right? Like that's like when you're bald, when you first start losing it, that's a tough day. When you look in the mirror, because you know before everybody else.

**Chris McMonigle** (3:06)
Sure.

**Craig Carton** (3:06)
That doesn't look exactly the way it used to look. And then you go to the Caesar cut. Well, first you go shorter, then you go Caesar, and then you either dye it or you just shave it. I did every step along the way. And I shaved my head when I was 30