Craig Carton CALLS OUT C-Mac’s Vacation Plans: “OUTLANDISH!”

License now. 524 Carton Show Big Mac. Great to have you here. Let me just check my handy dandy list. See if there's anything I left out today that I want to get to. No, no, no, not on that one. No, not on that one. Not on that one. No, not on that one. No, no, didn't want to do that one. Didn't do it. No, not on that one. Okay.
No. Pretty good. Oh, there's a lesbian cricket triangle.
You guys aware of this or no? Now, when I read the headline, that could be read two different ways. That could be read, there are lesbians who like to play cricket. Right. Who are involved in some kind of weird love triangle. That's one way to read it, right? Yes. Or there are lesbian crickets. Yes. That are involved in some type of love making soiree. Sure. How do you read it? How do I read it? Yeah. Like when you saw the headline. I heard it.
I would think it's probably lesbian cricket players. You believe so? So the cricket sport is what you think? Yes. Okay.
Final answer? Final answer. So you think it's women, like human beings, Human women, who play the sport of cricket. Who play cricket. And are lesbians. And there's a big like lovers quarrel or triangle thing. Yes. As opposed to scientists have discovered lesbian crickets that are involved in some type of war. Yeah. If you left out the triangle part, I could be sold on the lesbian crickets. You could be. But because of the triangle, I'm going to go with the lesbian cricket players. Well, you'd be right, sir. That's right. Australian Women's Cricket Vice-Captain Ashley Gardner, her strange wife Monica Wright and teammate George Ivolle, all women, all lesbians have split up. And there's alleged infidelity claims which have now made major headlines. What do you expect from lesbians though, right?
Like if I was a lesbian, I think I'd have a wandering eye. I think I read somewhere it's the highest divorce rate. Lesbians? Yeah? I think I read that somewhere, yeah. I'm not kidding. What were you reading? Just like what type of magazine were you reading? I was reading, yeah. I always like to read Lesbian Monthly, Craig. And in June, they were saying that. It's great bathroom material. By the way, great bathroom material. Because we all have this idea in our minds that- I actually think I saw a stand up comedian say it now. Oh, is that right? Yeah, it was What's His Name. I'm sorry to ruin the dream. That's okay. You can always envision me reading magazines in the bathroom, another time.
You're probably just reading Beavis magazines anyway. I think he was in that Australian comic. I don't care who the comic was. Yeah, but I think I saw him talk about this, about divorce rate inside- So the divorce rate amongst lesbians is higher than straight couples? Straight couples and then also- Gay men couples? Yes. Is that right? I believe that's what he said. I didn't double check it. Is that because women are hard to live with and they don't realize that until they're doing it? We figured it out early. We figured it out early. How difficult they are. We just fall prey to the JJ. Can't say no to it. How is it undefeated when there's two?
That's why the divorce rate is so high. How do you live with yourself? Someone's got to lose. That's right. That's right. Yeah. Look, I'm tired of making your bed every single day.
Yeah. The division of labor in that household has got to be a tough one. You probably spin the wheel on it or something, right? Like, all right, who's doing the dishes tonight?
That's why in my house, there's no spinning the wheel. No. No. Woman, bring me another Grand Marnier Coke and do the dishes. I'm sure that's exactly how it goes. That's right. You got to run your house. Yeah. Some guys wear track shoes and run around it.
Not me, obviously. I'm not one of those guys. I don't run the house. That is for sure. I am not in charge. Here is Andrew and Manalepen on the fan. Andrew, good afternoon. How are you, buddy?
What's up, guys? So I heard you guys talking early about the whole holding of chairs thing on vacation. I usually go away every year to Yoruba. And I honestly love getting up at about 5 in the morning, as crazy as it sounds. And we go down there, we hold chairs, and they're really strict because you have pretty much- Because it's douchey. Stay there, hold your chairs, and security comes around at 7 o'clock and they tag them, and they give you a two-hour window pretty much to come back by 9 o'clock if you're not I think even two hours is generous. Very generous. From 7 to 9 in the morning, prime time. From 7 to 9, that's a good job by the hotel. And let me ask you a question. It shouldn't be all day. Are you doing this at the Aruba Hyatt or the Aruba Marriott?