Case 337: Test A.rtf (Part 4/4)

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Test ARTF Properties Created Thursday February 10 2005 at 6:05 pm Modified Monday February 14 2005 at 2:47 pm Pages 1 Paragraphs 1 Lines 1 Words 18 Characters 68 Title Christ Lutheran Church Author Christ Lutheran Church Company Park City Community Public Library Lost Saved by Dennis.
For as long as Dennis Rader could remember, he had what he referred to as a little monster inside his brain. He said it featured heavily throughout his childhood memories, appearing in many frightening forms. Rader visualized the monster in shadows, wallpapers, rugs, wood grains, clouds, trees and buildings. Seeing it filled him with fear, but he also experienced another stranger sensation, a tightness in his crotch. In Rader's words, those moments imprinted onto his adulthood like the programming of a computer chip. Dennis Rader was born in March 1945, the first of four boys to high school sweethearts who married young. Although his mother was at times distant and neglectful partly due to untreated postpartum depression, Rader was surrounded by the love and support of his extended family, community and friends. His strict but decent father worked hard to provide the family with a stable home in Wichita while fostering their strong connection to the Christian faith. Rader routinely attended church and Sunday school and participated in Bible study and prayer. Once during Mass, Dennis Rader experienced what he believed to be a moment of enlightenment. He said he felt the Holy Spirit moving through him, compelling him toward noble pursuits such as community service and personal development. He became an altar boy and joined the Boy Scouts, maintaining an outward appearance of goodness throughout his youth by abstaining from cussing, alcohol, drugs and promiscuity. His religious devotion was so deeply ingrained that hearing other boys take a God's name in vain brought him to tears. Though he tried to nurture his so-called Holy Spirit, the little monster within Rader never went away. One of his earliest memories of its presence was when his mother became stuck after her wedding ring caught on a sofa spring. Seeing her in distress excited Rader, producing the strange erotic sensation in the pit of his stomach and groin. The same troubling feeling resurfaced when his mother started panicking at the top of a Ferris wheel. Rader's mother inadvertently played a pivotal role in his sexual development as he came to realise that he found the idea of people being trapped and helpless thrilling. Through the Boy Scouts, he became skilled at tying a variety of knots, with the clove hitch being his favourite. He experimented with tying his wrists and ankles together with all manner of bindings, including string, tape, twine, ropes, cords, straps, leather belts and chains. He restrained himself to beds, doors, clothes racks, beams and trees, tried out gags and nooses and even put a plastic bag over his head, all for the purpose of sexual gratification. Raider claimed that his mother's infrequent use of corporal punishment aroused him further, forming his belief that violence and sex go hand in hand. Her comfort and affection whenever Raider experienced pain or distress resulted in another one of his sexual obsessions, sadomasochism. He also discovered that he enjoyed wearing women's clothing when he started pleasuring himself while dressed in his mother's nightclothes and underwear. Raider described a complex relationship with his mother. He insisted he loved her, yet blamed her for much of the trauma he carried throughout his life. One day, when she mistakenly accused him of stealing, the humiliation and shame he felt marked the beginning of his impulse problem. Raider became easily provoked when stressed or frustrated and couldn't control his tempo. His eruptions were so explosive they left him drenched in sweat. Any criticism, especially when he considered it unjustified, stoked a deep-seated resentment and a craving for retribution. This led Raider to focus more on action than on consequences and learn to keep secrets rather than face repercussions. Lies became a defensive strategy he relied on to maintain control, while feeding him a smug sense of superiority.
Over time, Dennis Raider's behaviour escalated to include spying on people, peeping through windows and breaking into houses. In his opinion, the little monster went too far when it compelled him to start a fire that threatened nearby homes. Though Raider managed to extinguish the flames before anyone was harmed, the sense of grave danger both terrified and excited him. He reproduced the feeling by torturing animals, mostly cats, finding it exhilarating to exert complete control over a powerless creature. For Raider, the power to command life and death was the ultimate pleasure. When Raider heard the real life story of a man who had strangled his girlfriend to death, he felt sexually aroused. It led him to consume and collect crime thrillers, horror films and detective magazines as a form of pornography, and he grew to widely serial killers. Anything that depicted women being stalked, frightened and harmed was his favourite content. He drew sketches of girls and women he knew tightly bound, and designed dungeons where he imagined torturing them. One of his creations involved sealing a woman in a box that was partially filled with water. Radar would increase the box's temperature, causing the woman to sweat and urinate profusely until she inevitably drowned in her own fluids. He hid his depraved art, pornography collection, bondage equipment and mother's soiled clothing in secret places he called his hidey holes. He had many hidey holes. Some were close by, like the attic of his home. Others were in remote or abandoned locations throughout Wichita. As time went on, Raider's fantasies grew increasingly deranged. One of his favourites involved a victim being tied to a railroad track as a train approached. He reveled in their torment in the face of impending death. The violent fantasies the little monster conjured were like a book Raider could open and read repeatedly in his mind. They served as a form of disassociation, intensifying whenever he felt unsatisfied in real life and shielding him from negative feelings and experiences.