Arsenio Hall

**Arsenio Hall** (0:03)
Hi, my name is Arsenio Hall, and I feel relieved about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

**Conan O'Brien** (0:36)
Hey, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend. Sona, did you finish your string cheese?

**Sona Movsesian** (0:40)
I did not, I still have it.

**Conan O'Brien** (0:42)
Sona, I look over, I'm about to start, and Sona has string cheese hanging out her mouth, and she's shaking her head like, don't go yet, don't go yet. You hit it so fast, Joel. You hit, you jammed it under the table. Yeah, I did, I'm holding it. Okay, well be proud of your string cheese, you know? There you go. There we go, string cheese. Yeah, how is it, is it good string cheese? It is good, thank you for having it in the fridge. I didn't know we had string cheese.

**David Hopping** (1:07)
You don't do the grocery shopping?

**Conan O'Brien** (1:09)
I used to, and then about a week ago, I thought maybe I shouldn't do it anymore. I would always be rushing out just before guests were here. Al Pacino's almost here, I've gotta go to the market.

**David Hopping** (1:20)
He likes his Provolone.

**Conan O'Brien** (1:23)
The market? The market, that's right, I said the market. That's like where people in a fairy tale go shopping. Papa Bear's down at the market with Goldilocks. Sona, good to see you. Good to see you too, boss. And we're also joined, of course, Matt Gourley is out. He's on paternity leave, and we're very happy for him, but David Hopping's sitting in with us. Hello. Yeah. I'm here. Wow, you light up a room. All right. Listen, you had that coming. You know you did.

**David Hopping** (1:52)
I know.

**Conan O'Brien** (1:53)
No, you're a fantastic fellow. Hey, thanks. Yeah. And you're about to move into a new apartment. I am. I'm very happy for you. But you made the mistake of showing me a video of your apartment, and all I've done is give you a hard time since. I was excited. We were together whenever I got the email that we got approved, and I was like, oh, here's the new apartment. And ever since then, I've regretted everything in my life. Because I used anything I saw in the apartment. It's very nice.

**David Hopping** (2:17)
Yeah.

**Conan O'Brien** (2:17)
It's two floors. It's got two balconies. And I started to go after him like, oh, two floors, huh? What am I paying you?

**David Hopping** (2:24)
Oh, God.

**Conan O'Brien** (2:25)
You've got two balconies? I don't have two balconies. And so anytime you open up to me as a friend, I quickly use it against you.

**Sona Movsesian** (2:32)
Yes.

**Conan O'Brien** (2:34)
You know what? I don't want to speak anymore about our trivial matters because I am over the moon about today's guest. Very excited. This is a guy who I have a lot of respect for. I have a lot of respect for him. And we have worked in a similar profession and we have a lot of things, I think, in common. And I just, I've always heard he's a lovely guy and I'm so excited that we get to chat. So let's get right into it. My guest today is an actor. He's a comedian. He's a talk show host who now has a new book. And I've read this book and it's great. It's titled Arsenio, A Memoir. I am just, well, this isn't a job. This is just a really fun thing I get to do.
Arsenio Hall, welcome.

**Arsenio Hall** (3:32)
Relieved, relieved, why relieved? See, I should have prepared. Okay, being totally honest, if you have to take it out, take it out. Last night, me and Howie Mandel arrived in Beverly Hills to do a benefit for abused animals with Jay Leno.

**Sona Movsesian** (3:51)
Yeah, yeah.

**Arsenio Hall** (3:52)
So because this is last night, about eight o'clock, and I am thinking, get to bed, get up tomorrow, do Conan, and I'm looking at Jay in this green room. And I don't keep up with all white folks' business.

**Sona Movsesian** (4:05)
You know, I guess what?

**Conan O'Brien** (4:08)
I do. I only keep up on white folks.

**Arsenio Hall** (4:15)
But I do remember that you all had friction.

**Conan O'Brien** (4:19)
Water under the bridge.

**Sona Movsesian** (4:20)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

**Arsenio Hall** (4:21)
And you know, Jay is... Your friends are laughing.

**Conan O'Brien** (4:27)
Water under the bridge.

**Arsenio Hall** (4:29)
But I thought about it, and I'm like, wow. I hope Conan doesn't hate me, you know, because... What? No. No, because, you know, Jay is like a big brother to me.