#2458 - Matt McCusker

**Matt McCusker** (0:02)
Joe Rogan Podcast, checking in.

**Joe Rogan** (0:03)
The Joe Rogan Experience.

**Matt McCusker** (0:06)
Shrink by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

**Jamie** (0:12)
A lot of people have lights on their tables now to light up their face to make them look more pretty.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:16)
Really?

**SPEAKER_6** (0:17)
Yeah, they have a slight opening in the table and then a light that gets on you so you don't see the shadows in your face, so you don't look shitty.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:27)
I feel like that doesn't... Isn't that what you do with a scary story? You put a flashlight under your shin?

**SPEAKER_6** (0:31)
Yeah, but they're not trying to do that. They're trying to balance it out so you look flat.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:36)
That's crazy.

**SPEAKER_6** (0:37)
You look like what you look like.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:38)
Yeah, you got to give up after a while.

**SPEAKER_6** (0:40)
The weirdest shit is men who use filters when they take pictures.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:44)
That's insane.

**SPEAKER_6** (0:45)
There's comedian men that use filters.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:47)
Really?

**SPEAKER_6** (0:48)
Yes, it's very odd.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:49)
How do you know?

**SPEAKER_6** (0:50)
How do you know what they really look like? True.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:52)
Yeah, duh.

**SPEAKER_6** (0:52)
And then you see them and they look like a cartoon. Like Netflix does that with the pictures that they use when they promote your special, like the picture of you, they'll put that bitch through a filter.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:04)
That makes sense.

**SPEAKER_6** (1:05)
You look so pretty. Yeah.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:08)
If people see you after the show, you're like, you look horrible. I didn't know you looked so bad.

**SPEAKER_6** (1:12)
You look so old.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:13)
Thanks, man.

**SPEAKER_6** (1:13)
I am so old. I'm almost 60 Dang. I know it's crazy. I'm 58

**SPEAKER_5** (1:20)
I'm 40 I just turned 40

**SPEAKER_6** (1:22)
Those are real numbers.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:23)
Yeah, I know. As soon as I had kids, I age like immediately. You would have thought I literally gave birth.

**SPEAKER_6** (1:29)
Yeah. Well, it's the lack of sleep.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:32)
Yeah, that's what got me.

**SPEAKER_6** (1:33)
Yeah. You know what's really good for that? Creatine.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:35)
I've been taking it.

**SPEAKER_6** (1:36)
Yeah. Creatine, they say 20 grams a day, start like with five and work your way up to 20 and check to see how your butthole holds up, because the seal might be loose.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:46)
I've ran this experiment. 20 gets my guts going, man.

**SPEAKER_6** (1:50)
Bro, it does. It does. I don't do 20 in a dose. I do 10 in the morning and 10 at night, because I was doing 20 in a dose and it was just like, everybody out of the pool.

**SPEAKER_5** (2:01)
I'm also not convinced diarrhea is bad for you. I swear to God, like not shitting for sure, but diarrhea is just like, let's speed this up.

**SPEAKER_6** (2:08)
Well, isn't that what, is that consumption? What is the disease where you can't stop having diarrhea?

**SPEAKER_5** (2:14)
Dysentery.

**SPEAKER_6** (2:14)
Dysentery, that's it.

**SPEAKER_5** (2:15)
Yeah. Shit. Well, if you can't stop having it, sure.

**SPEAKER_6** (2:19)
Well, that's like, you can't digest food. It just goes right through you and just shit constantly.

**SPEAKER_5** (2:23)
Now you shit starve.

**SPEAKER_6** (2:24)
Yeah.

**SPEAKER_5** (2:25)
That sucks actually.

**SPEAKER_6** (2:26)
Yeah. That sucks. Not good.

**SPEAKER_5** (2:28)
Once a week though, that's fine.

**SPEAKER_6** (2:29)
You know what I used to do? I used to drink kale smoothies in the morning. That was the first thing that I would do. I would throw kale and garlic and like apples and shit in a blender. And that's what I would drink first thing in the morning.

**SPEAKER_5** (2:40)
Yeah.

**SPEAKER_6** (2:41)
And boy, that is just like that clears the pathway. That's like, like, you know, when you clear your rain gutters of leaves? You get a hose on that bitch and you fucking blow them off the top. That's what it's like.

**SPEAKER_5** (2:55)
Yeah, I've done the green drink before. It does get you. I was vegan for like a month. And that was like the biggest dumps. But I actually got hemorrhoids from being vegan.

**SPEAKER_6** (3:03)
Oh, because on the toilet too much?

**SPEAKER_5** (3:04)
It was just that the turds were so big. I was getting like blown out. I got hemorrhoids from being vegan.

**SPEAKER_6** (3:10)
Was it taking too long to poop? Or was it just like, it was just spectacular?

**SPEAKER_5** (3:14)
It was just massive. There were massive bowl winders. It was like twice a day.
I was like an adult entertainer. It was like my body just gave out. An adult entertainer?